To understand the basic motivators behind human behavior, it helps to know how the brain’s main systems work together. While there’s much more to brain function, we’ll simplify it here by focusing on two main areas that influence behavior: the “Feeling” brain and the “Thinking” brain. These areas—comprised mainly of the amygdala and the frontal lobe, respectively—along with the hippocampus, help explain why we react the way we do and how emotional regulation works.
The “Feeling” Brain: Our Protective Instincts
The “Feeling” brain, driven by the amygdala, is tasked with one primary job: keeping us safe. Constantly scanning the environment for potential threats, the Feeling brain determines what could harm us and prepares us to respond to those dangers. When a threat is perceived, the Feeling brain can override the Thinking brain’s rational processes to ensure survival.
How the Feeling Brain Responds to Threats: Imagine you’re being chased by a bear; in this moment, instinctual responses like fight, flight, or freeze are crucial for survival. However, when the Feeling brain sees non-life-threatening situations, such as public speaking, as “dangerous,” it can also trigger an intense fear response. For instance, if someone avoids public speaking due to anxiety, their brain learns to associate these feelings with threat, reinforcing the avoidance as a “protective” response.
The “Thinking” Brain: Problem Solving And Planning
The “Thinking” brain, located in the frontal lobe, is where we engage in complex processes like problem-solving, organizing, and planning. Think of it as the brain’s logistical manager, weighing pros and cons and helping us consider the best course of action. Most traditional therapy approaches are designed to engage the Thinking brain, encouraging individuals to gain insights, set goals, and develop coping skills.
Why Thinking Skills Alone May Not Be Enough: Often, therapy can help someone reflect on situations in a calm environment and feel prepared. But in the real world, when “triggered,” the Feeling brain may override these learned coping skills, shutting down the Thinking brain and leading to old behavioral patterns. This disconnection between the Thinking and Feeling brains is why it can be so difficult to apply what we learn in therapy to real-life stressors.
The Role Of The Hippocampus: Memory And Learning
Both the Feeling and Thinking brains draw information from the hippocampus, the area responsible for memory storage. The hippocampus keeps records of past events, which influences how we respond to new situations. If certain experiences led to feelings of fear or anxiety in the past, the brain is likely to interpret similar situations as potential threats, reinforcing defensive behaviors.
There’s more information as well about how these behaviors that are cemented into the brain and how they can impact self-awareness, relationships, and habits, in which the article Why We Repeat Problematic Behaviors Long-Term goes deeper into.
Emotional Regulation: Helping The Thinking And Feeling Brain Work Together
For effective behavior change, it’s essential to learn skills that help identify when the Feeling brain is sensing a threat and how to self-soothe in those moments. Emotional regulation is about keeping the Feeling and Thinking brains in sync, allowing us to recognize and manage intense feelings without becoming overwhelmed.
Building Emotional Regulation Skills: With practice, individuals can develop techniques to recognize triggers and calm the Feeling brain, making it easier to stay present and use coping strategies learned in therapy. This process involves acknowledging emotions as valid but not necessarily threatening, allowing the Thinking brain to stay engaged and support healthier choices.
Conclusion: Achieving Balanced Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation means confidently navigating life’s challenges by allowing both the Thinking and Feeling brain to work together. When we learn to identify potential triggers, soothe ourselves, and keep our Thinking brain active during stressful moments, we gain greater control over our reactions, paving the way for meaningful, lasting behavioral change.
This is where effective therapy can help as well, where emotional regulation can be challenging for many people, it can provide the proper insights, understanding, and tools to develop effective techniques for emotional regulation. Unfortunately, impactful resources aren’t always accessible, and we can read about here: Why the Mental Health Treatment Industry Fails So Many.
If you’re looking for help in understanding impactful ways to regulate your emotions, we offer amazing counseling services that meet you where you’re at and equip you with the tools to help.
